Monster Hunter

Danger is everywhere. Everywhere, I tell you.  So I have had to take up hunting monsters on a daily basis.  It's all up to me to round them up and kick them out of the house on a daily basis.  The one unanswered question I have is what are mom and dad doing that continually allows the monsters to come back in the room?  Alas, I will probably never know the answer to that.

 

Over time, my bed time routine has been evolving.  Around 7:30 every night I am escorted upstairs to brush my teeth.  Afterwards, I am read three stories of my choosing...this has quickly become one of my favorite activities.  After my stories I am tucked into bed, but before mom and dad can leave the room, I remind them we need to get the monsters out.  I used to leave the monster round up to just mom and dad, but after a couple of weeks I realized they weren't doing a good enough job so I had to help out.  Not only do I get all the monsters in my room, I clean them out of mom and dad's room as well as the other rooms, including the bathroom.  That's the kind of person I am...always thinking of the well being of others.



After escorting the monsters out, we head back to bed.  Then, for the only time in the day, every day, I am suddenly aware that I have to go the bathroom.  After a trip to the bathroom (which usually involves asking numerous questions and throwing shampoo bottles) we head back to bed.  Then I make my final request - a fresh glass of water.  Left over water from the previous night is just yucky.

This week, I made a terrigying discovery...monsters don't just come out at night...I've started to find them in the daylight, too.  Morning monsters are rounded up and grounded with dad's coffee beans and then made into coffee.  Those that aren't turned into coffee are escorted out of the house.

It takes a lot of working keeping mom and dad safe.